I have worked for myself since 1993 and had companies in U.K. and U.S. and business ventures in many other places. I am lucky that I never had to be part of the corporate world and have no desire to be part of it. Yes, the big corporations make millions of dollars but at what cost to their employees and the integrity of society in general. I see and read about these corporate giants and those trying to copy them, and I find it very sad. Perfect people giving you the perfect products for your perfect world, what horse shit!   

    So, here are my four corporate qualities you need in order to be amazing in today’s corporate environment!  

• Be a Bullshiter: You have to be able to sell crappy products and tell people it’s the most amazing thing you have come across. If you don’t bullshit, how will you get people to part with their money? You have to be able to tell your potential clients how wonderful they are when you really hate the sight of them. Fake it till you make it!
• Be an Ass Kisser: If you don’t kiss ass how will you get on, how will you get the promotion you want. If you tell your clients, colleagues, or boss what you really think of them you will get fired… So, tell them what they want to hear. Boost their egos like no one else!
• Don’t be Honest: Don’t ever be honest and tell people what you’re really thinking. You can’t tell your clients they are buying crap and you’re luring them into an agreement that will cost them more money than they think!! Never give your honest opinion, remember to tell people what they want to hear. Telling the truth will get you branded as having an attitude problem and could lead to counseling!!
• Never Take Responsibility for your Actions: It’s never your or your corporation’s fault, always pass the buck and blame someone else. If there is no one to blame don’t acknowledge the problem. If mistakes are made it’s up to the lawsuits to prove it was your fault.    

    Sadly, the corporate system is motivated by sheer greed and not what I would classify as good values such as honesty and responsibility; Such things are dirty words in today’s world in general.  The attitude of most is that if they take your money on some bullshit deal, they are the good businessman and you’re a bad businessman for being scammed. If you have a problem, then get an attorney and sue…    

    Glad I am not part of that world, I understand the employees have to have these corporate qualities and are just doing what they have to do to keep their jobs, get their promotions and secure their pensions but, what about self-respect? Well, these days that means driving a new car and wearing designer labels right!

Orlando “Andy” Wilson

Books on Amazon!
Social Navigation: A Practical Survival Guide For Human Interactions
In this book I’m sharing some of my experiences, in addition to giving you hard love advice on how to deal with those who you encounter.
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