Minding Your Own Business…
The following articles is an extract from my book which is on Amazon
Protecting Your Loved Ones: Security Awareness For Parents & Adults
Kindle Version: $4.99 @ https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FLJT9T5
Paper back: $9:99 @ https://www.amazon.com/dp/1717755933
A lot of problems I see people encountering usually start with them getting involved in other people’s personal issues and dramas. Whether they are doing this to try to help, be a Good Samaritan or just to be nosy it is irrelevant.
For me the main principal of personal security is to avoid problems and hostile situations by understanding the threats and planning to avoid them. If you are a parent, any problems you have because of your actions are also going to affect your children. Most of us have enough problems to deal with on a daily basis so why put more on your plate by getting involved in others’ drama. If you are going help someone ensure that any negative repercussions are not going to affect you or your family.
I am sure many reading this will find my attitude harsh, well it is, very much so, but why? Well, maybe I have dealt with too many problems, my own, my friends’ and clients’. And to be honest with you, after going out of your way to help most people they will not be grateful, these days most will see it as an entitlement and will try to take advantage. The favor you did once will become expected the next time they have a problem, and when you refuse they will try to make you out as the wrong doer.
We have to be very selective of who we call friends and let into our lives; until someone is well known and proven trustworthy, don’t trust them. I am sure you the reader know of or have heard of situations where family members have conned, betrayed or caused major issues for each other, so if you can’t trust family then you’d be stupid to put 100% faith in strangers.
Relationships develop over time, what people say means little these days, actions and behavior prove the real person. Assess your friends and family, forget blind loyalty, and categorize them for their trustworthiness, reliability and potential for causing you problems. If you understand how much you can trust someone and what to expect from their behavior, then you should never put yourself in a situation with them beyond this limit. If you know what to expect from someone’s behavior, then they should never disappoint you, because you should never trust them past their limitations.
This is a story told to me by a client during one of my classes; due to him and his family doing the right thing their action could have caused them major problems. This client and his family were very nice people, he and his wife had very good professions, which means they had a lot to lose.
While on a family vacation and driving through a rural part of the US they saw a girl in her early 20’s standing on the side of the road trying to get a ride to the nearest town. So, being nice people, they pulled over… The girl was distressed and explained she had had an argument with her boyfriend who had thrown her out of the car and left. The client and his wife felt sorry for the girl and gave her a lift to the next town, bought her lunch and ensured she was OK before they left her, they are good people…
Good people but very naïve since this girl could have caused them big problems… 1. She was distressed and admitted she had had a hostile argument with a boyfriend… What was the reason for the argument? Domestic situations are very unpredictable, what if the boyfriend had come back looking for her, what if he was aggravated and armed, the client had just put his family in the firing line… 2. Was she under the influence of drugs, did she have drugs on her, who knows, and they let her into their car with them and their children. If they were pulled over by the police for whatever reason and the girl did have drugs on her, what would she have done with them… Dropped them in the car? If the cop saw or smelled drugs in the car, searched it and found them, where would everybody most likely be going? Well, the adults to jail and the children to Child Services… Hopefully the client could get someone to hire a bondsman to bail them out of jail, then he could get an attorney to deal with the case and get his children back… Hopefully he would beat the drug charge and the arrest would not affect his and his wife’s professional licenses and future employment prospects… 3. How did they know the girl did not have warrants, was wanted by the police or was an armed criminal? They didn’t, they were just very lucky.
I am sure some of you reading this will think I am taking things to the extreme however everything I mentioned is very viable. So, what would I have done, most probably kept driving, no way as a single man would I have picked up an unaccompanied female. Why, because all she has to do is make an accusation of sexual assault and I would have major problems. I will talk more about this type of issue later…
So, what could the client and family have done to help the girl and stay safe at the same time? They should have called the police and reported they had found the girl and were taking her to a town, KYA… The dispatcher would have advised the client if there were known issue and to wait for an officer… The girl could have been wanted or reported missing. If the girl did not want the police called, that would have been a big red flag… They should at least have asked her and visually checked that she had no drugs or weapons before letting her in the car. If she objected, we have another red flag…
Hopefully you can see from that simple example how you need to look at things and don’t believe what you’re told, analyze situations. By all means help people but do not place you and your loved ones at risk!